The One in Which The CHB Admits to Being an Ass...

It was bound to happen.

When someone perpetually tries to take the opposite side of every perspective, they inevitably will end up contradicting themselves.

The CHB today completed the final tie of the knot by arguing that not only will Red Sox v. 2013 be lousy, but boring besides.

This after years of complaint about the home team for running out players who were surly (read: too African American), prima donnas (read: too Hispanic), media-unfriendly (Nomar, John Lackey, Josh Beckett), overpaid (read: everyone since Ted Williams) lacking in talent (David Ortiz, that "giant sack of you-know-what), drunk (Kevin Millar, Beckett), and fat (Clemens, Ortiz again, Beckett again, and every Hispanic not named Pedro Martinez).

Last year the team fielded an Opening Day lineup with no fewer than nine former All-Stars, and that wasn't enough. They were chicken-eating, beer guzzling prima donnas, and therefore they couldn't win. (Forget the record injuries.) This year, they are "good guys," but not talented enough. The saloon doors they keep a swingin'.

The CHB must believe that sweating out a mile a day is all it takes to be a professional athlete.

No, that's all it takes to be a professional ass.