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Sunday, March 11, 2012

DHL Dan - XIII

Four days since his last column, Shank has had enough time to watch a few more Red Sox games, thoughtfully evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of the current lineup, and give a rational assessment of this year's squad.

Ah, who am I kidding? Shank inflicts another picked up pieces column on us:
...

The Sox still have holes at shortstop, left field, and right field. They have downgraded at closer. They don’t have fourth and fifth starters. New York, Tampa, Texas, Anaheim, and Detroit all got better. The Sox are not better. Anybody else skeptical about the Local Nine? Who will be the first to note that the home opener is on Friday the 13th?
I like how Shank always accentuates the positive...

What's this? Shank turning sour on Adrian Gonzalez? It's like two peas in a pod!
Gonzalez is one sour dude. Almost Nomar-esque. Nobody likes a know-it-all.
Gonzo and Nomar mentioned in the same sentence? Consider it a badge of honor to make it to Shank's Shit ListTM. Remember when Shank had a man crush on Gonzalez? Seems like only yesterday.

Talk too much (Schilling, Manny) and Shank doesn't like you. Don't talk enough (Gonzalez) and Shank doesn't like you. Buy an English Premier League soccer team (Henry) and Shank dumps on you every other column. Is this guy ever happy with anyone?
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8 comments:

  1. Anonymous3:00 PM, March 11, 2012

    The "Nobody likes a know-it-all" bit is classic. Does he not understand irony?

    ReplyDelete
  2. ObjectiveBruce7:10 PM, March 12, 2012

    awfac dimplQuestion of the day:

    In which does the public have less interest -- this trite and condescending blog or the Great Shill's failed attempt to go over the media's heads?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous12:06 AM, March 13, 2012

    Schilling at least has balls, admitted when he should shut up and left it all on the field.

    You little critics have no balls

    ReplyDelete
  4. Roger Bournival2:42 AM, March 13, 2012

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Roger Bournival2:42 AM, March 13, 2012

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  6. ObjectiveBruce3:45 AM, March 14, 2012

    Do what you think you must.

    Oh, and in case you haven't noticed, the Globe is still around.

    So is Shaughnessy.

    So much for being undone by bloggers.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Monkeesfan4:17 PM, March 15, 2012

    ObjectiveBruce - you act as if the Globe is even relevant anymore - the bloggers have made it IR-relevant.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Monkeesfan1:49 PM, March 20, 2012

    Since Shank is a part-time writer, let's look at some of his audio verbiage - on with Zolak without Gresh this AM and they were talking about the Patriots and Tim Tebow - and Shank STILL won't let go of the first quarter of the December game. He WON'T LET GO OF IT. He still thinks the Patriots got crushed in a game they WON 41-23.

    ReplyDelete