Zero Horsepower

For those of us that watch professional football at any level of interest, Shank states the obvious: The Colts are not good this year. Shank feigns disinterest in the game, telling us he'll be taking a nap instead. As you'd expect with any half-assed Shank column, it is chock full of Shankisms, like "the immortal Dan Orlovsky" and "the immortal Kenneth “Gameday" Sims", a mention of the Red Sox ("The Colts without Manning have folded up like the September Red Sox."), the “18-12 Overture", and a mention of Indy's stadium, known to Shank as the "Lucas Oil (Can Boyd) Stadium". The only thing missing from the column is a Beatles or Springsteen song lyric.