Shank - Off the Bandwagon

Behold, the column we've all been waiting for.

There was a time when Red Sox fans expected the Local Nine to collapse. It was an autumnal right (rite? - Ed): The leaves turn brown and the Red Sox turn to dust.

I was a mere college kid in the summer of 1974 when the Red Sox led the vaunted Orioles by seven games on Aug. 23, but wound up finishing third, seven games back.

One year after that collapse, the Sox built another huge lead in late summer. Still, we worried. When the Orioles came to town in September, Baltimore manager Earl Weaver tried to scare all of New England, saying, “We’ve crawled out of more coffins than Bela Lugosi.’’

Great line, Earl! Great editing, copy desk!

Shank tells a few more tales of late summer collapses, then reveals his true position on the Sox (and more nitpicking):

Could it happen to your Boston Red Sox - the “Best Team Ever,’’. the team with the $160 million payroll (four times that of the Rays); the team with 15 All-Stars, two world championships this decade, and six playoff appearances in eight seasons?

I'm pretty sure the two championships happened last decade, but who am I to get in the way of a negative column, especially when Shank invokes the great bogeyman of Red Sox history, just in case you weren't sure:

Scoots was unable to dodge the bat and field the ball simultaneously, so the ball skidded between his legs, Buckner style.

We're only a Springsteen quote and a Schilling cheap shot away from one of the worst finest Shank columns evah!