The Red Sox playoff success has gotten a little routine, so Dan, in tribute, uses one of his tired, routing phrases to lead today's column.
A quick search of the Globe archives for "dan shaughnessy" "bring on the" spits up 33 columns from the recycler. Thanks for staying fresh, Dan.
The rest is a recap of the game, with an emphasis on how these are the new Red Sox, the ones who don't fold after a crucial passed ball. Dan must have been crying, thinking about his lost meal ticket.
Looking forward to the obligatory comparisons between Boston and Tampa/St. Pete.
ReplyDelete"We have the Green Monster, they have a stadium named after orange juice."
It's gonna be sooooooo funny.
Your pal,
Timmy
And how many times is he going to use the adjective "immortal" in the coming weeks to describe Ray's players?
ReplyDeleteTimmy,
ReplyDeleteDan got wise to people knowing it was a tired schtick and has it in semi retirement.
paul,
Immortal will be well used. Just like last year and the Rockies, he will dismiss them as unknowns without bothering to learn about them. Then ob will defend Shank's ignorance by stating that the players are unknowns and why should Shank bother to write about stats or something else you can find on the internet.
Don't forget to watch for obvious mentions of the 'new' Sunshine Skyway bridge, Busch Gardens, the Tampa Airport, and the rough distance from Tropicana Field to where the Red Sox 'will open up Spring Training' in, oh, 150+ days. That, and obtuse references to being able to watch the sun set over the water while still being on the east coast. In the 'immortal' words of some magician somewhere, 'Prepare to be AMAZED!'
ReplyDeleteYou guys are cracking me up...thanks for the laughs.
ReplyDeleteDB - did you see the column today where Dam laments that we take these victories for granted. Not like the old days when he grew up and the Sox never made the playoffs. Doesnt he write this column every other week now?
Funny how Dan's the only one with a license to know what 'Ye Olde Days' were. How haughty of him to feel that he--supreme Boston Sports Media Sage--is the only one to 'remind us' of the 'old days.' Like no one was there to witness it all but him.
ReplyDeleteYou fat-cats didn't finish your plankton ... now its mine!
ReplyDeleteWho is Shank writing for when he hearkens back to "Ye Olde Days" when the Sox didn't win or lost painfully? His 5-11 year old readers who can't remember when it was painful to be a Sox fan ... you know, way back in 2003?
ReplyDeleteThat's the hilarious irony of it: Shaughnessy is writing for younger folks who he thinks are reading his newspaper...but aren't.
ReplyDeleteSilly season is here.
ReplyDeleteGee, with a half dozen world championships this century and teams going deep into the playoffs several other times, don't you think that 'bring on the' is kind of appropriate since qualifying for post-season or advancing in the playoffs means you've vanquished one opponent are are now, supposedly, eager to meet the next?
Or would you prefer to say "The (red-hot/ice-cold/lucky) ______s are (slated/set) to (insert sports-particular cliche here) against the ________s in the next do-or-die, must-win round of the ________ playoffs."
OB:
ReplyDeleteOne of your worst rebuttals yet. I'm sorely disappointed.
Your pal,
Timmy
Praise Jesus! I have seen light!
ReplyDeleteOB's irrefutable logic has finally convinced me. Dan shouldn't avoid using his tired phrases because, and get this piece of genius everybody, THE ONLY OPTIONS ARE OTHER HACKNEYED PHRASES!!!!!
How have we missed the overwhelming logic of such an intellect for all these years?
MY PEOPLE!!!!! DON"T AVOID CLICHE! NO, EMBRACE IT!!!!
SOMEDAY, IT WILL TOO LEAD YOU TO A LIFETIME SINECURE AT THE BOSTON GLOBE; SYCOPHANTIC, LOGROLLING REVIEWS OF YOUR TRITE BOOKS; AND BLEEP YOU MONEY SO THAT YOU CAN INSULT YOUR READERS ON A REGULAR BASIS.
COME, JOIN ME!!! WE HAVE BEEN SHOWN THE LIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Possible Candidates for the "Immortal" Tag:
ReplyDeleteAndy Sonnanstine (killed the sox this year)
Gabe Gross
Eric Hinske (or use of the "why can't we get players like him"... see Pena, Carlos for extra candidate)
JP Howell (that one seems a perfect tag)
Grant Balfour
Dan Wheeler (or the use "Rhode Island's Own...)
And yet having watched baseball all year I know exactly who all of them are... maybe Dan literally does not know
Vin
dbvader's commentary on "HACKNEYED PHRASES!!!!!" is indeed ironic.
ReplyDeleteOb,
ReplyDeleteThis is twice that you have defended Shank's laziness by asking what should he have done. Maybe he should have been interesting and original, like good writers are.