A column about Julian Tavarez winds it way to being about Roger Clemens.
A boring affair except for the end when Dan does his best to whip fans into a frenzy about the possible return of Clemens and slip in a paragraph length reference to a near riot at a Rolling Stones concert 35 years ago.
Dan mentions that Clemens is slated to return to the Majors next Tuesday. Dan implies that Clemens would be on schedule to pitch the Sunday Night Game at Fenway and suggests that if he were not to pitch he would be ducking the Red Sox. Nice thought, except that the Yankees have an off day next Thursday, putting Clemens on schedule to pitch Monday, June 4. I know this is shocking, but Dan omitted a key piece of information in order solely to stir the pot.
"I know this is shocking, but Dan omitted a key piece of information in order solely to stir the pot."
ReplyDelete1.5 millivolt shocking, I would say.
"It's been years since taking a pop quiz that required translation of Frazier's epic Tibialibus Rubrix XV, Eboracum Novum V."
ReplyDeleteOB:
I just read this again. It's still really, really funny!
Keep 'em coming big guy!
Tim
I'll have to go with anon 10:55 (anyone have a real name around here?) and say that I didn't even blink at the omission.
ReplyDeleteI actually enjoyed the column for once. I'll remember the Tavarez quotes when Lester does come back
and see how he reacts then.
I think today's entry, more than any other I've read on this site, is plain old nitpicking.
It's like Dan just learned about the Stones incident and had to work it into a column, however awkwardly it fit.
ReplyDeleteKevin:
ReplyDeleteRegarding your nitpicking comment, I beg to differ, this blog's subtitle is "we read him so you don't have to." I take that literally, I cannot read CHB/OB's columns--too awful. I enjoy this blog for the purpose it serves: critiquing the crap that passes for a column in the formerly great Globe sports pages in the country. If I see CHB/OB's mug on the sports page, I automatically default to this space to enjoy a few laughs rather than wasting my time on recycled, dated, boring garbage. If instead, I see Bob Ryan's or Jackie MacMullen's picture, I usually go ahead and read their work. Their stuff is usually good and worth the time.
Anon 8:27- First things first, I read and enjoy this blog for the same reasons you do and think that Dan is nothing more than a bitter, pessimistic hack who's far past his prime. I can see where my initial post could have implied that I think ALL entries on this site are nitpicking. Far from the truth.
ReplyDeleteBut in this instance, I think DB had to find SOMETHING wrong in that column, and while the mistake shouldn't have been made in the first place (you're surprised that it was, I can tell), I think it's a little forced to connect it to Dan stirring the pot.
Kevin:
ReplyDeletePoint taken!
I guess I don't mind shots taken at CHB/OB, even when forced.
-Anon 8:27
I very careful to avoid reaching and I think I was successful in this case.
ReplyDeleteTake this portion:
"It's possible, of course, that the planets may not align. Clemens could decide to delay his return. He could also be held back for an extra day of rest and pitch in Chicago the day after the Yankees finish at Fenway.
Dan assumes that if Roger pitches next Tuesday, he is lined up to pitch Sunday. Anything else would be a deviation from the norm. But it wouldn't be. Looking at his gamelog from last year, he pitched every fifth day about half the time there was a day off between starts. He is a year older, coming back in a shorter time, and not the number 2 pitcher on the staff. I think it is much more likely he will be pitching every fifth game rather than every fifth day. Dan acknowledges this only in passing.