DHL Dan CCXXXVII - Staying In The Past

Kind of sensing a theme with these last two columns...

It’s still weird, five seasons post-Brady, to be on the outside looking in during NFL playoffs, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while reminding myself that nobody knows anything when it comes to betting on the NFL playoffs …

▪ Five seasons into our post-Brady world, it’s still weird to be on the outside looking in during the NFL’s biggest weekends of the year.

I still have flashbacks of walking across the sprawling acres surrounding Arrowhead Stadium en route to the AFC Championship game in January 2019. Eyeballing thousands of festive/frozen Heartland fans, many barbecuing ribs and blissfully boasting about how they were going to beat the Patriots, I remember thinking, “Poor dopes and losers. These people have no idea what they’re in for. They think they’re Super Bowl-bound, but they don’t stand a chance. Something hideous will happen to their team at the end of this game and the Pats will prevail.”

Sure enough, that’s how it went. What appeared to be a game-losing Tom Brady interception in the final minute of regulation was negated because Chiefs pass rusher Dee Ford lined up offside. Ford’s transgression had no bearing on the turnover, but it gave the Patriots the ball back. Naturally, Brady tied the game, then won it in overtime when … you guessed it … the Chiefs lost the coin flip and never touched the football.

Read on for unsurprising digs at - you guessed it - Robert Kraft. Talk about never letting go!

Where Past Is Prologue

Shank has a few thoughts about the New England Patriots new head coach, and dates himself in the process:

Mike Vrabel is another former Patriot, but now they need to let go of the past and let him truly run the show

I love the past and am not an agent of change.

Just like the Patriots.

I have a land line in my 125-year-old house. Also a VCR, CD player, Rolodex, and weekly calendar where I scribble appointments and to-do lists. I have never Tik-Toked, still carry cash, and own shoes older than Globe Patriots beat reporter Nicole Yang.

I read printed newspapers, seven per day, and Monday those ink-stained rags featured these headlines:

“No surprise, Patriots turn to their past and hire Vrabel as next head coach,” The New York Post

“Vrabel is Returning to New England as Patriots Head Coach,” The New York Times

“Glory daze,” The Boston Globe

Beautiful. The Patriots love the past. They can’t let it go. They love anything and everything that reminds them of their great triumphs in the first two decades of this century.

The Patriots aren't the only ones that can't let things go...

DHL Dan CCXXXVI - On To The Offseason

Shank's weekly column features an unusual admission:

The real season — the offseason — is finally here for the Patriots, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while crediting Bob Kraft for having the smarts and fortitude to take questions from the media when there’s a lot to explain about his team . . .

▪ Mid-winter has emerged as the most important season for the Patriots.

For the first 20 years of this century, New England football’s January/February was about Saturday night home playoff games, Tuck Rules, snow angels, Tom Brady comebacks, Lombardi Trophies, cheating scandals, paths to perfection, revenge tours, sore losers in Pittsburgh and Indianapolis, Mona Lisa Vito, “Malcolm, go!,” 28-3, and The Continuing Story of Bill and Ernie.

All of that is gone, but these freezing, post-holiday weeks with no playoffs for us still represent the most important stretch of the season.

In 2025, the Patriots are annual NFL losers. Those 13 regular-season losses and four feeble wins mean just about nothing. Almost all the games were tedious and unmemorable.

Sincere praise for Kraft or a huge head fake by Shank? You make the call!

If You're Not First, You're Last

Here's Shank on the firing of New England Patriots head coach Jerod Mayo:

In Jerod Mayo’s case, nice guys really do finish last

Weep not for nice guy Jerod Mayo. This wasn’t his fault.

Smart, sensible, stoic, Mayo will be a coveted commodity for many decades as an NFL assistant coach, commentator, or just about anything he pursues. He may become an NFL head coach again, perhaps a good one. He is only 38 and it’s all ahead of him.

Mayo was fired as head coach of the Patriots, less than two hours after the hapless Patriots beat the playoff-bound Buffalo Bills, 23-16, in New England’s season-finale “Stupor Bowl” at Gillette Stadium Sunday afternoon.

It was a “win” that cost the Patriots dearly, dropping them from first to fourth in the NFL’s annual April meat market. The hollow victory supplied the perfect coda for Mayo’s disastrous single season as Patriot head coach:

The 2024 Patriots: even when they win, they lose.

It’s fair to state that Mayo’s disastrous one-year reign was an ownership blunder, residue of Bob Kraft’s considerable hubris and pain from the final years of Bill Belichick’s quarter-century at the helm. Mayo should never have been handed the job in the first place and likely was promoted out of sheer loyalty to the boss. After 25 years of perceived disrespect from Belichick, Kraft wanted a head coach who was polite and beholden to the boss. The result was abysmal. Mayo was wildly inexperienced and unprepared for the lofty position.

Another Patriots column for which the real primary target is Bob Kraft.

Losing By Winning

If it weren't for the fact there's always a losing team, Shank would have nothing to write about.

One of the best comments ever at Dan Shaughnessy Watch, and the theme of Shank's second column from Sunday:

Patriots lose big (No. 1 NFL Draft pick), even in victory

Say it loud and say it proud. Print bumper stickers and T-shirts.

The 2024 Jerod Mayo Patriots: Even when they win, they lose.

Through the decades, we’ve seen some unforgettable teams here in Greater Boston.

The 1967 Red Sox were the “Cardiac Kids,” who forged “The Impossible Dream.” Our Causeway Street skaters of the 1970s were the Big Bad Bruins, who later ceded to “The Lunchpail A.C.” We had the “Cowboy Up” Red Sox of 2003, and the Curse-bustin “Why Not Us?” Sox of ‘04. Kevin Garnett led the “Ubuntu” Celtics to the NBA Championship in 2008.

Now we have the ‘24 Patriots who gave us a 17-game clown show festooned with turnovers, pre-snap penalties, and embarrassing losses from September though the holidays. Going into Sunday’s season finale, their 3-13 record put them in dandy position for the No. 1 pick in the entire NFL draft. All they had to do to secure the top spot was lose to a 13-3, playoff-bound Buffalo Bills team.

DHL Dan CCXXXV - The Axe Falleth?

Just an hour before Patriots head coach Jerod Mayo became former Patriots head coach Jerod Mayo, Shank was thinking ownership will do nothing:

The Patriots need to do right by their fans and fire Jerod Mayo, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while wondering if Route 1 will be easy to navigate Sunday . . .

▪ Welcome to the Stupor Bowl. Sunday in Foxborough we get the 13-3 Buffalo Bills, a playoff-bound team with absolutely nothing to gain against a 3-13 Patriots team that has much to lose by winning.

Ugh. Wake me when it’s over.

When this finale mercifully concludes, Bob and Jonathan Kraft — visible this season only when network pals featured them rattling jewelry from a cozy midfield suite — need to do right by fans and fix their mess of a football team.

Regrettably, I can pretty much guess how this is going to go: Bob will send out his now-annual letter of apology, telling fans they deserve better and promising a better product. The Krafts will feebly fire a coordinator or two, Bob will reluctantly take a few questions, and announce that Jonathan is busy elsewhere at a very important corrugated cardboard meeting.

I'm getting the feeling Shank doesn't like the Kraft family a whole lot...

Time To Catch Up?

Sorry, folks - took a bit of a break from Shank, as we all need to do from time to time...

Let's start from a few weeks ago, when Shank correctly pointts out the half-assed effort by the Red Sox to go after free agents again this offseason:

Red Sox have struck out on big-name talent, but they rule one aspect of free agency: They’re kings of interest

Last winter, Red Sox chairman Tom Werner gave us a punchline for the ages when he pledged that the Sox would go “full throttle” after their last-place finish of 2023.

We all know how that worked out. The Sox were a virtual Paul Cézanne still life in the winter of 2023-24, unless you want to count trading 2024 Cy Young winner Chris Sale to the Braves for a bin of rosin bags, and signing Lucas Giolito, who got hurt in Fort Myers and didn’t throw a pitch all season.

This winter is different. Sort of.

The Sox have indeed added some name players (Aroldis Chapman, Walker Buehler, Garrett Crochet), but they’re still tire-kickers on the free agent market, ever MLB’s “Kings of Interest,” and no longer serious players for big-name talents seeking multiyear deals.