Wednesday, November 30, 2016
Monday, November 28, 2016
EAST RUTHERFORD, N.J. — You have seen this game one million times. Maybe two million.Now check out this paragraph (emphasis mine):
The Patriots struggle. The other team plays over its head. It looks like we might witness an upset loss for the team from Fort Foxborough. And then all the usual elements emerge and the Patriots cut out the hearts of their rivals. Tom Brady plays cool, flawless football down the stretch, the Patriots wait for the other guys to step on banana peels, and New England walks out of another enemy stadium with a hard-fought victory.
“It says a lot about our team,’’ Bill Belichick said Sunday night after the Patriots trumped the Jets, 22-17, at MetLife Stadium. “Their resiliency and mental toughness. How they execute under pressure. A lot of games in this league come down to the last series or the last plays or whatever it is. You battle it out for 59 mintues and it comes down to one or two plays . . . We’ve had a lot of those come up.’’
The Patriots beat you because they are smarter and tougher. They never take the apple. If you are from Buffalo, Miami, or the Meadowlands, they take away your will to live. They make the plays when the plays need to be made and they wait for you to tie your shoelaces together. Which you inevitably will do. It is all so predictable....says the columnist who predicted the exact opposite at the start of the game. Schmuck.
This is a year in which there are no great NFL teams, and in that spirit the Patriots are certainly in the Super Bowl hunt . . . but the Patriots hardly looked championship-driven for most of Sunday afternoon/evening in the Meadowlands. Those of us who trade in analysis and negativity will have much to chew on this week.I think the Dallas Cowboys, currently at 10-1 and the Oakland Raiders, tied with the Patriots at 9-2, might have something to say about that. Does Shank expect the 1985 Bears or the 2000 Baltimore Ravens to be resurrected somehow? And when is the last time Shank offered up anything remotely resembling 'analysis'? At least he got the last part right about trading in negativity, him and his asshole colleague Ben Volin.
Can't wait to hear Shank regurgitate this column tomorrow morning with Bettle & Zolak - riveting radio, everyone!
UPDATE AT 8:00 PM - Minor spelling error corrected in the penultimate paragraph of this post.
Sunday, November 27, 2016
Have to wonder if Patriots might be better off with Garoppolo at QB. Brady isn't right— Ben Volin (@BenVolin) November 27, 2016
Would you mind letting the fucking guy play the entire game before you second guess him? Thanks.
Tuesday, November 22, 2016
Be thankful, New England fans, for our bounty of successI'm pretty sure it's mostly Boston sportswriters and Michael Felger who get agitated when that happens.
You are a New England sports fan, and it’s Thanksgiving week, and there is so much for which to be thankful.
Ours truly is the best region for professional sports watching. The blessings are many. I was thinking of this back in October while watching the Cubs and Indians in their epic World Series. The Cubs hadn’t won a championship in 108 years and the Tribe are still sitting on a 68-year drought. The city of Cleveland went from 1964 until this year (Cavaliers over Warriors) without winning anything. And here in Boston we get agitated when the Bruins go two straight years without making the playoffs.
In any event, the rest of the column's a good read and he makes a halfway convincing case, to the extent he avoids using 'I', 'we' and 'our' when discussing the local pro sports teams. We've' seen this sort of writing way too many times before from Shank to believe one word of it is sincere in any manner. We won't get fooled again.
There is one other thing that's been pissing me off for years:
The Patriots certainly play in a terrible division,Compared to what? This is simply a lie that Shank keeps peddling because he doesn't have any editors that will call him on this, and I'm getting sick and fucking tired of having to keep pointing out the bloody fucking obvious. Go look at the records of all of the divisions this year. There are two divisions that have three teams at or above the .500 mark - the AFC East and the NFC East. In 2015 there was one division that met this criteria, and in 2014 four divisions met this criteria. In the past three years the AFC East seems to be the division that consistently comes up with the most wins, doesn't it?
You know what? I take the praise of this column back. Everything that guy just said, is bullshit! Thank you.
Bonus - No Larry Bird reference, but there is a Clive Rush reference!
UPDATE, 1:57 PM - On a second pass, this little bit of arrogant condescension jumped out:
...and management has a penchant for style-over-substance and pandering to Pink Hats,Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't most of the people you see in the stands wearing pink hats... aren't they all women?
Why is the Boston Globe baseball section such a hotbed for misogynistic intolerance? Shame on you, Mr. Shaughnessy! Shame!
Monday, November 21, 2016
Hey all,I do - want to put money on your ability to continue as a going concern, Brian? Say, Chapter 7 liquidation in five years?
So the earth shook under us last week with Donald Trump’s stunning victory, raising all the questions you’ve heard and even asked about the inability (you spelt 'ignoring' wrong - ed) of the news media to see this coming. These are good questions, with no clear or clean answers, but what absolutely can’t be lost in our self-reflection is that we’re in a moment, an utterly pivotal moment, in which we matter more than ever (funny, your circulation numbers don't reflect it - ed) to our region and our loyal readership. It is not an overstatement to say that this is why we exist. And I don’t have even the slightest doubt that we will meet the challenge.
To that end, I should say more publicly what I’ve told a lot of people in here privately over the past ten days: I’m intensely proud of our national and campaign coverage going back not just weeks and months, but years. You should be, too.You were caught red handed colluding with a U.S. Presidential campaign. Are you Globies proud of that? Are you, Bruce Mo**?
Go read the rest of it if you want to be further insulted by this bow-tied bumkisser.
SANTA CLARA, Calif. — Tommy Brady. Homecoming King.Laying it on a little thick, isn't he? That's when you know he's full of shit.
The New England Patriots Trumped (Trumped - get it? - ed) the moribund San Francisco 49ers, 30-17, at Levi’s Stadium Sunday and Brady — playing in front of family, friends, and Patriot Nation West for the first time in his 17-year career — led the way with 280 yards of completions, including four touchdown passes.
It was a sweet Sunday for the Patriot icon as he finally had a chance to show the locals what they missed when they passed on him (as did every other team for 5½ rounds) at the 2000 NFL Draft.
We watched three quarters of slippery, grinding football in a steady rain before the Patriots secured their victory with a pair of quick-strike touchdowns early in the fourth. With just over nine minutes left, a large portion of the Niners “home” crowd toasted QB12 with chants of “Bra-dy, Bra-dy”.
As the clocked ticked down toward 0:00, the sun broke through and a giant rainbow settled over the 49ers’ massive new stadium. Such are the powers of Tommy Brady. He can avoid the rush, throw on the run, make the rain stop, and the sun shine.
You saw those earlier tweets of mine when I called the 49ers tomato cans, then took it back minutes later, only to see the Patriots win convincingly in the second half? We're good now, right?
Your pal, Shank.
SANTA CLARA, Calif. — It was looking really good when the sun was peeking out and the “Brady” chants were raining down at Levi’s Stadium Sunday afternoon.That it was, but not before Shank passed judgment on the Patriots multiple times, wrongly, before the game was even close to being finished.
It was looking pretty dismal when the actual drops rained down during the quarterback’s homecoming.
Playing through a steady downpour in front of a half-empty stadium – it’s possible Junipero Serra High had more fans at its state playoff win over Saint Francis Friday night — the Patriots survived a rock fight with the 49ers, earning a 30-17 victory.
It felt a lot closer than that.
Shank makes this critique far too easy with today's 'performance'. I'm surprised he didn't break both his ankles jumping off and back on the bandwagon while the game was being played. If you want to know what a complete unthinking, reactionary sports columnist looks like with not an original thing to say, who contradicts himself multiple times within the span of a few hours, here it is, in all it's lack of glory. Read it and weep, for the future of traditional sports 'journalism'.
UPDATE, 10:47 A.M. - I got the wrong link; this column was written by Jim McBride, not Shank. Both columns are of the same ilk, so the points above still stand.
Sunday, November 20, 2016
With certain people, there's no pleasing them.
Wait . . . It's "bend, but don't break", right? Do I have that right.?— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) November 20, 2016
Nothing ever changes.
Remember - he said the same thing last week, then backtracked about twenty minutes later.
Pats call heads. Head it is. Pats defer. Game over.— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) November 20, 2016
Real Tomato Can today.
Remember when I called you a cheater earlier this year?
We're good now, right? Mind if I rub your balls for a few minutes?
Your Pal Shank
SAN FRANCISCO — Tom Brady’s handsome head must be about ready to explode inside his Flying Elvis football helmet.Nobody hijacks bandwagons like Dan Shaughnessy.
How much is too much for one star athlete?
Brady is at the epicenter of everything. President-elect Donald Trump. Deflategate. Foot Locker. The rainforest. Gisele Bundchen. TB12 Nutrition.
Tuesday, November 15, 2016
On now until 1:00 with Zo and Beetle @ZoandBertrand. Did not see either at Globies last night. What's up with that. Who misses Globies?— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) November 15, 2016
Sunday, November 13, 2016
Do I hear "Bend, but don't break"? That always works against crap teams. Until you get deep in the playoffs— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) November 14, 2016
Seahawks looking like one more tomato can— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) November 14, 2016
Can feel it. Pete getting ready to call slant pass on second and goal from the one— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) November 14, 2016
It is turning out to be a good game, but Shank continues his passive / aggressive approach as far as the Patriots are concerned.
Best NFL game of year unfolding now. Dallas at Pittsburgh— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) November 14, 2016
Saturday, November 12, 2016
Friday, November 11, 2016
Bruce - did you need to see the grief counselors on Wednesday after Hillary! got her corrupt ass handed to her? Not even the corrupt, no credibility Boston Globe, which you were a part of for decades, stacking the deck in Hillary's favor was not enough to drag her over the line.
Have a nice day - don't cry too much, okay?
We all know why he's doing this by now - setting up the Patriots with the highest of expectations so he can a) stay on the bandwagon and pretend he's a fanboy or b) write a hundred columns about their demise should the Patriots win anything less then the Lombardi Trophy.
Busy February. Feb 5 super bowl. Feb 6 Truck Day. Feb 7 patriots parade— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) November 11, 2016
There should be a statue of Pete Carroll at Patriot Place. He should have a place in the Patriots Hall of Fame alongside Tedy Bruschi, Willie McGinest, and Troy Brown. Pete is on a short list of folks who can claim responsibility for the Patriots winning a Super Bowl.Like most of Shank's columns, this one has a negative angle:
Pete did not do this by conventional means. He did not coach the Patriots to a championship. He did not design a defensive scheme that enabled them to beat the Rams, Panthers, or Eagles.
No. Pete delivered a Super Bowl to New England with the worst in-game coaching decision in the history of sports. Worse than Fourth and 2. Worse than Grady sticking with Pedro. Worse than Johnny Mac leaving Bill Buckner on the field in ’86. Worse than Joe McCarthy starting Denny Galehouse in the one-game playoff in ’48.And like most of his columns that discuss local championships, they must be discounted:
Less than two years ago, when good fortune (and some great plays) were about to hand Pete Carroll a victory in Super Bowl XLIX in Glendale, Ariz., Pete said “no thanks” and handed the Lombardi Trophy to the New England Patriots.
Sorry, fanboys. I know you hate hearing this. I know the brilliant, ever-prepared Patriots practiced their big defensive stop two days before the game. I know cornerback Malcolm Butler made a sensational play, picking off Russell Wilson’s slant pass. I know that Bill Belichick and Ernie Adams masterfully maneuvered the clock and suckered Pete into putting the wrong package on the field. I know there are no sure things in sports and that Marshawn Lynch was sometimes stopped on 1-yard runs in 2014.Left unmentioned, naturally, is luck that runs the other way, like the David Tyree helmet catch.
But we all know that the Seahawks would have won Super Bowl XLIX if Pete had not panicked, let the defense dictate his offense, and called a high-risk slant pass into traffic instead of going Beast Mode for at least one or two carries into the end zone.
Wednesday, November 09, 2016
Here’s some picked-up pieces of our broken luck after the 2016 baseball and election seasons . . .So, Hilary's not a polarizing figure? Good to know!
■ The Patriots win too much. They get caught cheating. And just when you think they can’t offend any more of Football America, Bill Belichick and Tom Brady get used as endorsement props by the most polarizing American political figure of the last 60 years. On the eve of the presidential election.
And remember - it's perfectly fine for the wife of a Boston Globe columnist to write a check to a political candidate from a joint checking account, because that's different!
Every vote is sacred and a private matter if that’s what the voter chooses. We applaud athletes who take stands on issues or candidates. LeBron James knew exactly what he was doing when he went on stage with Hillary Clinton in Cleveland Sunday.Do I detect a double standard here? Lebron supports Hillary - all well & fine. Belichick & Brady support Donald Trump - I WANT ANSWERS!
When a sports figure lends the currency of his fame to support a candidate, he’d better be prepared to hear questions about his position and brace for some blowback from an emotional voting population.
In this spirit, Belichick and Brady have invited the dreaded media to ask questions about their support for Donald Trump in the 2016 presidential election. If we can believe Trump, Brady called the candidate Monday, told him he voted for him, then told Trump it was OK to announce his support in New Hampshire.
Ditto for Belichick. According to Trump, the coach wrote the candidate a fawning letter, then amended that missive and gave Trump permission to read it to the world on election eve.
This disqualifies Brady and Belichick from expressing surprise or disdain when they get asked about it in Foxborough Wednesday. They can dismiss it with “we’re on to Seattle” if they want, but the quarterback and coach invited this.
Good for them for taking a public position. Time now to stand by their man or explain that the candidate did not have their permission to share details of their support. It’s one or the other. The “crooked” media did not start this fire. Bill and Tom did.
■ Curt Schilling’s latest controversial tweet (since deleted) advocated the lynching of journalists as “awesome.” Schill said it was sarcasm. Hard to imagine how this guy keeps losing jobs.Question for the Sanctimonious Shank - is it okay for a reporter to call for the death of a presidential candidate? Was that sarcasm? The guy rightly got shitcanned a few days later (possibly to be picked by the Globe after the heat dies down), but I don't recall Shank weighing in on that infraction. I wonder if he'd like to do so now?
The rest of the 'column' is the usual mishmash of trivia and arcana as he waits for his next victim - read at your peril.
Sunday, November 06, 2016
The Patriots did not play a football game Sunday. It was New England’s bye week. In the fall of 2016, every week is a bye week for the Patriots. The games are pretty much all the same and the outcome is never in doubt.Every Shank cliché is there, which makes it unreadable, except for this masochist.
Here’s what you would be reading today if the Patriots had played a game on Sunday:
“The Patriots beat the Gotham Tomato Cans, 45-7, Sunday on a sun-splashed autumn afternoon at Gillette Stadium.” New England effectively locked up the AFC East for the 13th time in the last 14 years.
eight games left in the Patriots schedule, and I can see three games that aren't tomato can games - the Ravens, while not playing great this year, are currently beating the Steelers 10 - 0 (even Shank has admitted in the past that they're not scared of the Patriots) and we have road games at Denver (how'd that last trip to Denver work out?) and at Miami (how'd that last trip to Miami work out?). I don't mind attempts at humor as much as I mind people spreading bullshit like this.
Saturday, November 05, 2016
The New York Times Co reported a 95.7 fall in quarterly profit, hit by restructuring charges related to headcount reductions.Question for Bruce Mo** - is this how you become a nonprofit, or do you still have to ask the IRS?
Net profit attributable to the newspaper publisher fell to $406,000, or break-even per share, in the third quarter, from $9.4 million, or 6 cents per share, a year earlier.
Revenue fell to $363.6 million from $367.4 million.
The company, struggling to transition to digital, said online ad revenues grew 21.5 percent and now account for more than 35 percent of its advertising receipts.
Thursday, November 03, 2016
In true Shank fashion, he tries to make poetry out of prose -- "They blew a lead of 6-3 with two out and nobody aboard in the eighth inning. Manager Joe Maddon was being measured for a Grady Little cap. [T]he Cubs ... won it when lefty Mike Montgomery retired Michael Martinez on a grounder to Kris Bryant with the tying run aboard at 12:47 a.m. You could hear Harry Caray hollering'Cubs win' and 'Holy cow' in hardball heaven." -- and in the process completely misses the actual drama of the game. No surprise there.
Even less surprising to those of us who have tortured ourselves to bring you this column for going on 10 years, is his attempt to stick it to the Red Sox in the process. Indeed, this was one of the classic World Series, and Shank spends most of it writing about the Red Sox.
Let's start with Theo Epstein, who has now "has punched his ticket to Cooperstown as the man who killed two curses."
Since The CHB doesn't seem to remember what he previously wrote about Theo, I'll remind him:
- "Epstein is a student of the game, but it's a mistake to say he knows more about baseball than [Larry] Lucchino or anyone else."
- "It was charged [in 2005] that Sox management conducted a ''smear campaign" against Epstein. How? Where's the campaign?"
- "Epstein made a ton of bad moves in the later years of his tenure, then went to Chicago for a $19 million contract and watched from afar as the Sox decomposed. ... Mistakes were made. Money was spent badly. The Sox lost their way and tried to throw money at their problems."
There's Jon Lester, "who was famously lowballed, then traded, by the smarter-than-everybody Sox in 2014, did what he proved he could do in Boston: he came up big in the big moment. Lester was called upon to pitch in relief and stuffed the Indians for three innings." Well, not exactly. Lester allowed two runs in three innings work, and it was his wild pitch that cut the Cubs lead to 2 in the bottom of the fifth, giving Cleveland hope they could come back.
There's John Lackey, who gave up 3 runs in 5 innings in a Cubs loss Game 5.
There's Terry Francona who "[had] a commanding World Series lead, only to see it implode over the final three games."
Imagine what Shank would have said if this had happened while Francona was managing the Red Sox. Oh wait, it did:
The greatest choke in baseball history ended the only way it could have ended, with the Red Sox gagging on the Camden Yards lawn one last time. ... Say goodbye to Terry Francona. In the midnight confessions, Francona spoke of “the mess we got ourselves in,’’ then said, “We needed to take care of business and we didn’t.’’
In historic fashion.
Wouldn't losing a 3 games to 1 lead in the World Series, dropping the final two on your home field, be even worse?
Yes it would. I can think of only one thing worse: Shank's column.
Wednesday, November 02, 2016
By this 'standard', I won one Tour de France, maybe two...
I'll just sample the tail end of the column, where, try as Shank does to get Jamie to badmouth the Patriots, Jamie doesn't bite and instead lays down a subtle yet awesome countermeasure on Shank:
How did you find out about the trade?How do you like them apples, Shank?
“I got a call.’’
Who called you? A Patriot person?
“I don’t want to get into that. I’m here now.’’
Did Bill talk to you?
“I talked to him.’’’
How’d that go?
“It was OK. It’s business. This is a business league. [Expletive] happens . . . I leave with good terms with anybody.’’
Do you think they’re going to go on and win the Super Bowl?
“I don’t know and I don’t care. I don’t play for New England. I’m over here. All I care about is the Cleveland Browns.”
How do you look back at your New England experience?
“It was fun while it lasted. This is a new chapter in my life and I’m ready to approach it.’’
Any hard feelings toward the Patriots?
“No. It’s a business. At the end of the day I’m still getting money, man. I’m still getting money, I’m still moving on and I’m still here playing. I’m not the one that’s watching the game. I’m playing the game.’’
Are you hurt by this?
“No. I’ve been through a lot so this ain’t nothing. I’m good. I’m on to Cleveland.’’
Tuesday, November 01, 2016
Tito on mananging in Philly and Boston: "There were a lot of times I thought my name was "You suck" because that's all I ever heard''— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) November 1, 2016
As expected, feedback was positive and constructive:
@Dan_Shaughnessy You and Tito share something in common!— Mash (@DirtDogs643) November 1, 2016
Do you think Shank's angling to write a follow-up book to "Francona - The Red Sox Years"? The vibe is unmistakable.
@Dan_Shaughnessy How many times is he going to say that?— Michael Farrell (@farrell205) November 1, 2016
CLEVELAND — Baseball connects people, moments, and generations. Fathers and daughters. Mothers and sons. If you are a true seamhead, baseball events parallel your own experiences, creating a timeline of your life. This is what’s happening as the Cleveland Indians and Chicago Cubs play out this 2016 World Series. The Tribe lead the Cubs, three games to two.And then we get this gem:
There is great anticipation over what might transpire in both cities over the next two days. As the Series resumes with Game 6 at Progressive Field Tuesday, folks in Cleveland are bracing for the possibility they’ll be celebrating the city’s first baseball championship since 1948. Meanwhile, back in Chicago, the long-suffering legions of Wrigleyville want to extend the Series to a seventh game and see the Cubs win their first championship since 1908.
It’s going to be history for one city and more heartbreak for the other.This clown makes near six figures a year and we get this kind of pedestrian 'analysis' and opinion, and the rest of the column is more or less about... Dan Shaughnessy. Just flush this one down the toilet.
But Lester and the Cubs had other plans. After two quiet nights in Wrigleyville, the Cubs finally strung together a few hits and Lester and the Chicago bullpen did the rest.
It had to be strange for Francona to watch Lester start Game 5.
Their relationship was special when they were together in the Red Sox organization. Francona paid extra attention to Lester the rookie, and when the kid was diagnosed with anaplastic large cell lymphoma, the manager took Lester’s worried parents aside and said, “We will take care of your son.’’