DHL Dan, Mailing It In
I know it was a hot, sunny day in Boston today, and it's the kind of day where you don't feel like doing a whole lot. Looks like Shank felt that way, too.
We read him so you don't have to.
For three bone-cracking nights and days the Red Sox were sittin’ by the dock of Sick Bay.I threw that last one in there, but you get the idea.
Friday night it was Pedroia flopping in the dirt around home plate like a salmon on dry land...
Saturday it was Buchholz pulling up short like a wounded deer...
It was a dark and stormy night...
Overall, the Sox are 42-22 since April 20, the best record in baseball during that stretch.
I hate writing about David Ortiz. Every time I say he's done, Ortiz goes on a tear. When I admit I'm wrong, he goes into a tailspin and I wonder if I was right in the first place.It's like a food court of column types! How many Shank column types are we up to (not necessarily in this order of frequency)?
I was certainly wrong about Ortiz in this space on April 12, when I wrote a column headlined, "Boston's big problem: Big Papi past his prime, no longer everyday DH.''
It seemed to be true at the time, but of course that was before Ortiz wound up being American League Player of the Month in May, when he hit .363 with 10 homers and 27 RBIs.
We knew this was a three-year window when Ainge assembled the New Big Three in the summer of 2007.And we'll read the post mortem tomorrow, win or lose.
Your Green Team was thrashed by the Lakers at Staples Center last night. Playing with none of the urgency and thunder that marked the final two games in Boston, the Celtics were Dropkick Murphyed in Game 6 of the NBA Finals, 89-67.Nothing like a forced pop culture reference to trash a small paragraph. Must be the strain of the game still affecting him. Then again, after seeing Perkins hobble off the court, and have his services in doubt for Game 7, it's tough to remain an optimist.
So much for Shrek and Donkey. In Game 6, they were all donkeys.Let's hope that last sentence doesn't apply tomorrow night. Go Celtics!
I knew Ray Allen was going to come out of it (whatever you say, Shank - ed). I mean, this guy is really dedicated.Halfway through the column, we're informed that Shank just bullshitted his way through:
You heard about Ray, right? Just eight hours after missing all 13 of his shots in Game 3, there was a sighting of Allen jacking up threes at HealthPoint in Waltham at 7:30 a.m. Wednesday.
Actually, I made all of that up. Ray takes a lot of pride in his shooting. But he doesn’t need to go all over town to break out of a one-game slump. He has his routine.And Shank has his.
Dustin Hoffman had “Ishtar’’ and now the Celtics have Game 1 of the 2010 Finals. These were the bad old Celtics who played .500 ball over the last 54 games of the regular season.Comparing last night's loss to perhaps the worst movie ever made is a massive insult, but I expect no less from the Globe's 'ace' sports columnist.